Listen, I get it — We are all experiencing quite a playoff hangover right now. Not just any hangover, one that has lasted multiple days — NBA fans are at a boiling point. We need takes, and we need them NOW. All we can do is just sift through our feeds for some spicy news. But, no sport does social media quite like the NBA. The hot news of the day is basically a thread shitting on the sports legends every other day. I’ve never seen a sports twitter that enjoys eating its own sport alive but hey it’s what we got. Seriously, Hockey is always defending how hardcore their fans are — and how hard the sport of hockey is, baseball just constantly yells ‘America’s pastime!’ and football fans just spend their time arguing who has the worst fans. The NBA on the other hand, the hot news of the day is “Larry Bird is a glorified Marshall Plumlee” which makes no sense, but I saw a tweet that said exactly that.
That’s the odd thing, out of all the legends attacked — Larry Bird has been scott free so far. Not today, oh buddy not today. Dude was eviscerated — apparently he would only be Nikola Mirotic in today’s NBA according to the fine poetry that is on the Twitter machine. I’m not quite sure why Larry Bird came up, usually the NBA hate train is just a shit carousel that goes from Kobe to LeBron to MJ and continues that cycle until we get a Skip tweet and everyone directs their attention to trolling him. It’s a rare moment where everyone comes together. Anyway, just breathe NBA fans — basketball is coming back. In the meantime, here’s some takes you can bask in until tomorrow:
- Curry just a glorified Eddie House
- KD is just Michael Olowokandi with a system
- Kobe is just DeMar Derozan with an assault charge and a catchphrase
- Terry Rozier > Kyrie Irving